


Crucio

by bubblylikesparklingcider



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, i hate walburga black, it's sirius in case you wanted to know, like really hard, there's actually remus/sirius if you squint really freaking hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 16:18:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5832295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblylikesparklingcider/pseuds/bubblylikesparklingcider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius falls apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crucio

**Author's Note:**

> It's short. I'm really sorry.

"She Crucio'd me." Sirius' voice is hoarse and his laugh is bitter like firewhisky. "I should've expected it, I guess. She's Walburga Black, and she won't have a Muggle-loving Gryffindor for a son."

"Sirius...." Remus trails off, clenches his fists by his sides. Sirius laughs again, takes a drag from his cigarette. Remus doesn't miss the pain in his voice, doesn't miss the way Sirius lowers the burning end of the cigarette to his thigh, already lined with burn scars.

"Don't." Remus begs. Sirius doesn't respond. 

It came as a shock to him when James gravely appeared at Platform 9 3/4 with Sirius in tow. It was a still greater shock to learn that Sirius had run away from home and showed up at the Potters' house, bleeding.

Now, Remus doesn't blame the dark-haired Animagus for running.

"Now Reg is alone. With them." Sirius breathes smoke into the darkness, legs dangling over the edge of the roof. Remus wants to tell him to get away, for chrissake, but he stays quiet, watching Sirius sharply.

"I'm so used..." Sirius' voice cracks. "So used to...to being there for him. Stepping in front of him."

"It's not your fault, Sirius." Remus' heart aches and he wants nothing more than for James and Peter to climb through the window and help him.

"But it is." Sirius drops the cigarette on his thigh and pulls out another one, lighting it. "I know better...I know better."

"Sirius, stop burning yourself." Remus says forcefully, plucking the still-burning cigarette off Sirius' thigh and tossing it off the roof. 

"Why? I need it, Moony." Sirius speaks around the cancer-stick in his mouth. Remus shakes his head.

"No. You don't. Let us help you. Sirius, we're your friends." Remus grabs Sirius' shoulders, turns him to face him.

"You all helped me with my...werewolf problem. We can help you with this." Sirius shakes his head now, eyes dead.

"I'm too far gone, Moony. It's too late for me." 

"No, it's not. Look, let's go inside and talk about this." Remus needs to get Sirius away from the edge before he hurts himself more than he already has.

"I was under the impression that we were already talking about this." Sirius smirks. Remus lets go of Sirius' shoulders.

"I'm serious." Remus says.

"No, I am." The cocky bastard responds. He stands up. "I'm drop. Dead. Sirius."

He jumps.

Off the roof.

Remus freezes; his heart stops.

"Dammit!" He hears from below and he unfreezes, looks over the edge.

James and Peter. Of course. Of course they knew. 

Sirius is suspended in the air, held there by James and Peter. Remus wants to cry.

"I think we should have that talk." James says.  
\---------  
"Why would you save me?" Sirius is screaming, his eyes are red. Remus is tired, he doesn't want this.

"Because you're our friend. And whether you like it or not, we won't let you die. And we're going to talk about this." James says. Lily stands in the corner of the room, teary-eyed.

"James..." She says, but he waves her off.

"Sirius, you can't kill yourself." Peter says. Sirius snorts.

"I could've if you hadn't stopped me."

"Why do you even want to?" Lily asks and the question hangs in the air like the smoke smell clinging to Sirius. Sirius gets quiet. They sit in silence for what seems like hours before Sirius finally speaks again.

"You know why." Lily shakes her head.

"No. I don't. You don't want to kill yourself because your parents have disinherited you." And honestly, Remus thinks that Lily deserves an award or something because suddenly Sirius looks uncomfortable and Remus realizes Lily hit the nail on the head.

"It's Reg." Remus says, more to himself than anyone else, but then everyone's staring at him.

"Reg?" James asks, looking back at Sirius.

"Who...whose gonna keep him safe now?" Sirius asks. "I was stupid. I could've waited until my seventeenth birthday to leave, instead I had to go and cause a blow-up and get myself disowned. Whose gonna protect Reg now?"

"I can protect myself." Reg speaks from the doorway, and everyone except Lily jumps. Remus had forgotten that there was someone behind Lily. Reg looks at her. "Thanks for getting me, Lily."

Sirius is staring at Reg with tear-filled eyes, looking as if his heart is spilling over with regret.

"Sirius, I can handle myself. Mother and Father have always been easier on me. And not just because you protected me." Reg glares at his brother. "You need to focus on taking care of yourself. No more of this climbing to the roof, and certainly no more jumping off. I've been forbidden to see you, I can't just come running over here to make sure you're still alive."

"I think you four- five, sorry, Lily, need to set some ground rules." Reg says before turning and leaving. It's silent for a few moments before James speaks up.

"He's right. Sirius, this can't keep going on. No more smoking a whole pack of cigarettes at once. No more hurting yourself. If you want to go on the roof, one of us has to go with you, and you most certainly are not going near the edge. We want you safe, okay?"

Sirius nods slowly. Remus can see the resistance in his shoulders, in his eyes, but at least Sirius isn't complaining.

Maybe they'll be okay.


End file.
